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Monday, April 15, 2013

Enough of being strong

Hello people...

Have been feeling super weak this few days. Emotionally, mentally and physically weak.

Emtionally weak because I've been hurt over and over again by the same person, even though we are not together, I keep getting hurt by him and his friends. Just asking, don't anyone think it's unfair for a guy's friend to constantly hurt the guy's ex on purpose? Just to make the girl regret treating him like shit last time? The girl has changed and treat him better than anyone else. She is willing to sacrifice so many important thing for him but then the guys treats her like shit now and even worse than shit? Haishh! :(
The things going on at home too, it's not enough for me to bear too much things at once you know :(

Mentally weak because I've been thinking a lot everyday over a lot of matter... School, home, friends, family, myself. Haishhh!

Physically weak because my stomach hasn't been feeling very good recently, I keep having diarrhoea and want to vomit. My stomach hurts all the time also. Most probably having stomach flu. I haven't been sleeping well either :/ I normally have problems sleeping at night and I have to wake up at 5.30am everyday. I have to stay back after school and I won't have the time to have naps :/The traveling time from school to Admiralty here also 1hr plus. Whenever I reach home it is already 7pm. I can't sleep possibly sleep in class right? Even though I do. Haishh~

I'm currently feeling very weak because of my stomach hurts and I'm feeling a little giddy right now.

How I wish I know how to handle things better. I'm super stressed out at everything now. But I wanna be strong by trying to handle all my problems. But if people just keep throwing things onto my back like nobody's business, I don't think I can carry all these weight anymore. Haishhhh!

Had a heart to heart talk with my brother yesterday. Talked about all my problems and I started crying. I honestly rarely cry in front of my brother. But yesterday I cried at least 3 times in front of him. I really don't know what to do uh.. I wish I can tell people what am I going through, but I bet they won't understand even after I tell them and they probably find me pathetic. Obviously it's because they are not me. I'm feeling even worse now cause Sir messaged me and said he wanted to talk to me. I'm very very very afraid it will be a very bad thing man.... :(

I think that's all for tonight. Goodnight people. Please take care of yourselves people.

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