I still don't know how to feel about everything. I'm just 16, why do I face all these unecessary trouble that I didn't even ask for. It's not even my problem but it becomes my problem. It's unfair.
The worse part? No one gives advice that actually helps. It's all just useless "stay strong" "i'm here for you" "pray" . Do you really think it helps? I've tried every single way. Especially praying and submitting to God. I really give up. Guess I just have to just continue to be in this misery.
Shouldn't have broke down last night. Have been keeping in for too long. It's just so hard to tell people that I really wanna be alone. It's hard to make them understand why I wanna be alone. They wouldn't understand. People say you need friends to survive. That ain't true. You can always choose to be alone. Haishh. I really wish I die soon. At least put me out of this suffering. I really don't know how long more can I tolerate all this.
All the temptation just rush into my mind. Commiting suicide, self-harming, smoking. Everything. Really don't know how long more till I really just stumble and fall. I don't even need to commit suicide or self harm, I already feel .. dead.
Common test starting tmrw. Doubt I can pass. I don't even wanna go school lah. Don't have a choice though. Probably sleeping early tonight. Still haven't been sleeping properly lately. It's just so.... exhausting.
I'm just tired.