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Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Br(ok)en

Well, life has gotten stable. Mum striked lottery, that did help a bit.

Why are we constantly putting up an act against each other? It's just so freaking annoying I can't even, ughhhhh. We act like we're fine when we're obviously not. It's bad.

Haishhh

Studies didn't get me anywhere either. Failed prettt much everything. How much "smarter" can I be. Well, at least I studied for physics and I didn't fail badly. Good enough for me at least.

Having a really bad pimple outbreak. It's either the fruits that I'm eating that has an effect or just too stressed. Not to mention that there's a fucking big MOSQUITO BITE. LIKE WTF?! OUT OF SO MANY PLACES. MY FACE. MY PRECIOUS FACE. GAHHHHHHH! DAMN YOU MOSQUITOES, HOPE YOU BURN IN HELL WHEN YOU DIE!

Speaking of fruits, which links to my healthy diet, which links to my extreme failure. I'm getting fatter. And that's not good. Good thing I have good photography skills and it makes me look thinner than reality. Trust me people, I'm fat.  Why can't I have like a normal body? C-cup boobs, flat tummy, 165m tall. That's like my type of perfect body. Goddamit.

Haven't been sleeping well, so obviously, I look pretty messed up in reality. Sleepy face, eye bags, panda eyes, pimple face, fat tummy bulging out, fat tighs, short fag. Gahhhhhhhhh. Screw all the pretty chicks.

WHY THE FUCK AM I NOT FAMOUS? WHY THE FUCK AM I NOT RICH? WHY THE FUCK MUST I SUFFER? SCREW THIS SHIT.

Really need God now... that irony right? Curse and swear like nobody's biz then talk about God. I believe God has something for me luhhh. But I really cannot handle.

Reminder to self: I am a strong girl, I've been through shit that most teenagers didn't go through. I'm still happy. I can do this. I'm beautiful in God's eye. I will change and will become a beautiful person inside out. God has a plan. I'm smart, not academically, but smarter than most idiots out there. Stay positive.

Sorry if any of this don't make any sense. Technically I created this blog to rant, to express myself, to do reflections, to communicate with myself. So if you think I'm stupid, the red 'x' button on the top right corner of the screen exist for a reason.

Alright, time to sleep. Hopefully a sweet dream.

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