Crap.

Why do good things have to end? 

Why can't I get the good things?

I don't want to be so pathetic to name out why I deserve it. I want it to come to me because I truly deserves it. 

It's always like that. 

Whenever I like someone, I will spending my time fighting over him with someone. Just like previously C & V. I had to fight over 2 freaking girls and I still lost him. Not just 2 actually, 4 to be exact.  

I just want to run away from reality so badly because at the end of the day, I know i'm still gonna fail in life.

I don't even know how to express my feelings. I can only cry right now. That's all. 

I'm trying too hard. Wayyy too hard. 

I'm lost. 

I don't even know if I should continue fighting. I don't want to lose. But I know I will. Not because I have no confidence, but because it always happens. Things have never changed. 

I'm sick and tired of being lonely. I really want someone whom I can rely on. Someone whom is able to lend me their shoulder. Someone whom I really love. 

Now I'm starting to sound like some despo-attention-seeking bitch. I really really miss the time when I had someone to talk to and knowing that at the end of the day, someone will constantly remind you that you're beautiful and they loves you. 

I miss that so badly. 

It's officially 1 year 3 months since I broke up with him. Which also means I've been spending majority of the 15 months alone with no one I can truly rely on. 

Now I know I have best friends too. But they are always unavailable. :( I understand, but I just hate it. 

It's time to really let it all out. Haishhh... 

Don't even know if I made any sense.