Maybe it was always you.
I remember the day when I first saw you and I kept asking Aditya what's your name and all and he told me bout how you have someone already. I was disheartened but since then, you were always the only person I notice. I remember going to SC room to slack for a bit and you were outside there playing the guitar and singing. My heart pounded but I just went inside the room, then I heard you singing Avenged Sevenfold and I was ecstatic. But still, I didn't dare to talk to you. Then during the bonding day, I held your hands for the first time (well, shook your hands actually) while playing a game. It was dumb cause you happened to be the doctor and I was the virus hahaha.
Then finally the day came when we had our first conversation. I was having lunch with Adi when you just finished training and wanted to have dinner. We started talking and instantly we clicked. I lied about not knowing your name. I knew who you were, what course you were from and all. But I didn't know that your birthday was a day before mine. You sent me back together with Adi and I remember shouting your name from my window and waving to you while you were at the LRT station. At that point I didn't even have your number. Then came the day that I got your number. It was the BBQ thing. I was looking forward to spend the night with you. Well, least expected the dares. HAHAH! We became pretty close during that period. Not to forget that our birthdays were coming soon. Wanted to ask you to go to USS with me on my birthday but I knew you would be tired from the marathon. I was thankful that you spent the night with me and randomly sang a birthday song at Woodlands.
Then came the mini heartbreaks. Saw your instagram post, about the girl who gave you the present. Also another girl that liked you and when we went out for dinner after the HarmonyWorks conference and you too kept talking and I felt pretty jealous (HAHAHHA). But it's alright ah.
We drifted for a bit until recently when we started talking again and look where we are right now. Still friends. HAHAHA I MADE IT SOUND LIKE WE'RE DATING OR TOGETHER. Too bad we're not. I was sad when you told me that you and her only broke up (stop dating) a few weeks back. I feel bad for always making you feel bad too hahahah. But it's okay.
Then the impromptu stayover. And you kinda stayed 3 days straight even though you went home on Friday night.
I'm happy the way things are right now. And if the day comes where you're over her and things change for the better than I'll be happy for you. Whether we'll be together or not, as long as you're happy. I will be happy.
All these happened when I was dating someone, I knew we wouldn't work out, but I just wanted to give it a shot. Thank god I ended things early, I would be a bitch if I just kept giving him wrong signals. I'm not trying to say that I was good enough to break up with him early, in fact I shouldn't even be with him if I didn't have the feelings for him or so I thought. But I'm really thankful for him, plus the fact that we're still good friends till now.
I still wonder bout what would happen if I actually spoke to you earlier and how things would be different, there are countless possibilities. But I'm thankful that whatever happened has happened and for being what we are right now.
I'm looking forward to the day where good things actually happen between us. I don't want to have any expectations, just being this way is good enough and I would be super blessed if something else actually happens. All he needs now is time, and that I will give to him.
Thank god for blessing me with a friend like him. I would be the luckiest girl to ever get him as my boyfriend.